It's been awhile since I have felt the need to blog. I have lots I've wanted to say, but haven't felt like I should say/blog anything. Until now! :)
I can't even describe how I am feeling right now! I feel so alive & refreshed!
As I have shared before, God has been telling me to loose weight for sometime now. I have struggled with this the whole time! I just couldn't seem to find the "want" to do it. To put it plainly, I have been disobeying and ran from God on this!
We have been studying the book of Isaiah at BSF. Even through this study, God is CONSTANTLY bringing me back to this issue & wanting me to deal with it! (He is so patient! Far more than I) All through the book of Isaiah, you see God's patience and you see Him helping people who have constantly screwed up. Well, that's me. I have never felt like loosing weight was something I could ask God for help with. It's my own fault I am the size that I am. I am the one who ate all those cookies, chocolate & everything else! God has shown me something very different through this study. He LONGS to help his children! I think of an earthly father...I think of my husband. Aaron would never turn away our kids if they came to him for help. No matter how many times they have messed up or disobeyed before. No matter how upset he is with our kiddos. My God won't either!
Today, I finally get it!!! I was reading Isaiah 46. In verse 7, God was comparing himself to idols (gold & wooden idols). God used this example to radically get ahold of me today! Of ALL things God used to compare himself to idols, He said "..And when someone prays to it, there is no answer. IT HAS NO POWER TO GET ANYONE OUT OF TROUBLE." I know...you may read this & think "umm...ok. that's it. That was the powerful revelation?" YES!!! It was for ME and remember, this is my blog! ;)
He desires to help us!!! He desires to help ME!!! During the month of January, our church did a fast. For 21 days, I did not eat ANY sugar! And I did it. In fact, it was easy. Why? Because my focus was not on myself. It kills me when I watch Biggest Loser and I hear people say "You've got to this for yourself." Doesn't that seem selfish? I have been doing this food thing for myself. When I have tried to diet before, I have failed. But when I gave up sugar for 21 days, it was easy? Why? AGAIN...my focus was not on myself & my need & my weight! My focus was doing what God was asking me to do! God wants to help me with this! God, and Him alone, must be my focus!
Anyway...that is my huge revelation! :) I feel so free! Thank you Lord!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Not again!
Ok..Ok...for real this time! Why is this so stinkin hard!?!? Am I truely THAT undisciplined? I KNOW when I really want something, I can do it! When I was prego with Oria, I wanted an all natural birth, no drugs. And...I did it! I was DETERMINED! But why can't I seem to loose this pesky weight?
Once again, I felt the Lord drawing me closer to Him this morning regarding this issue. My hubby preached this morning on the Father's love for us & how He is so CRAZY in love with us! When we become so intimately close to someone we really know them. We don't need to ask every question because we already know the answer. We don't WANT to do things that make the other unhappy!
I'm seeing a pattern here. Are you? I don't like it.
Aaron & I will be celebrating our 10yr anniversary this October! Our honey moon (hahahahaha! I can't even think of our honeymoon without laughing) was so NOT a honeymoon! We really want to go away to get the honeymoon that didn't happen. Oh how I'd love to be lighter by then!
I'm not into New Year resolutions, so how about an End of the Year resolution? :)
My end of the year resolution......To become closer to Him!
Once again, I felt the Lord drawing me closer to Him this morning regarding this issue. My hubby preached this morning on the Father's love for us & how He is so CRAZY in love with us! When we become so intimately close to someone we really know them. We don't need to ask every question because we already know the answer. We don't WANT to do things that make the other unhappy!
I'm seeing a pattern here. Are you? I don't like it.
Aaron & I will be celebrating our 10yr anniversary this October! Our honey moon (hahahahaha! I can't even think of our honeymoon without laughing) was so NOT a honeymoon! We really want to go away to get the honeymoon that didn't happen. Oh how I'd love to be lighter by then!
I'm not into New Year resolutions, so how about an End of the Year resolution? :)
My end of the year resolution......To become closer to Him!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Put it back
I tried on clothes tonight at Target, only to put them all back because none of them fit or looked good.
I REALLY enjoy shopping, but I HATE trying on clothes only because I have the worst luck with things fitting properly. My boobs are the size of lemons & my belly & toosh are the size of planet earth! HA!
After leaving completely disgusted, I decided I need to come up with a better plan to get my bod where it needs to be. Again, so I can be more effectively used by God.
I work really good with checklists that I can see with my eyes. So while the girls were in the tub tonight, I grabbed my pen & paper and started to "design" a list of daily reminders to put on the fridge to help me loose weight.
As I started to right down "water, crunches, fresh veggies" and more, God started talking. "HEEEELLLOOOOOO!?! What about me? Where am I on that list?"
God & I converse alot throughout the day. I read my Bible, but I still lack that QUALITY time with Him. Our "date" time. It's rare that we get to spend good quality time, quiet time together. Those times are important. As a busy, once working mom, it's so easy to put everything else before that. Poopy diapers, cleaning, laundry, kids homework, even over-eating...hahaha!
When my hubby & I are really busy & haven't seen each other all day, it FEELS GREAT to spend even just 5 mins with each other! Those 5 mins makes all the difference in our day & relationship. It's the same with God.
So despite how busy I am, I need to make time to nurish the most important relationship I have with the one who is head over heels in love with me! If I can make time to make sure I drink enough water in a day or to make sure I eat enough veggies, then I can make sure I spend time improving my relationship with God. Even if it is just 5 or 10 mins! When I put Him FIRST, this whole thing will be easier to get through!
I REALLY enjoy shopping, but I HATE trying on clothes only because I have the worst luck with things fitting properly. My boobs are the size of lemons & my belly & toosh are the size of planet earth! HA!
After leaving completely disgusted, I decided I need to come up with a better plan to get my bod where it needs to be. Again, so I can be more effectively used by God.
I work really good with checklists that I can see with my eyes. So while the girls were in the tub tonight, I grabbed my pen & paper and started to "design" a list of daily reminders to put on the fridge to help me loose weight.
As I started to right down "water, crunches, fresh veggies" and more, God started talking. "HEEEELLLOOOOOO!?! What about me? Where am I on that list?"
God & I converse alot throughout the day. I read my Bible, but I still lack that QUALITY time with Him. Our "date" time. It's rare that we get to spend good quality time, quiet time together. Those times are important. As a busy, once working mom, it's so easy to put everything else before that. Poopy diapers, cleaning, laundry, kids homework, even over-eating...hahaha!
When my hubby & I are really busy & haven't seen each other all day, it FEELS GREAT to spend even just 5 mins with each other! Those 5 mins makes all the difference in our day & relationship. It's the same with God.
So despite how busy I am, I need to make time to nurish the most important relationship I have with the one who is head over heels in love with me! If I can make time to make sure I drink enough water in a day or to make sure I eat enough veggies, then I can make sure I spend time improving my relationship with God. Even if it is just 5 or 10 mins! When I put Him FIRST, this whole thing will be easier to get through!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hello
I've title my blog My loss, His gain because of what He has been talking to me about the most. Weight Loss.
Note: Be warned. If you start posting drama such as "oh jenny, you're beautiful. God doesn't care what you look like." it will be deleted! God and I have this relationship where we can just talk to each other honestly. I to Him & Him to me! And that is where this blog comes in. This is all based around my conversations with Him and the things He's revealing to me about my life.
I am overweight. I have been so convicted about it, but haven't done a thing about it!
Tonight was an only worship night at church, no sermon. I SOOO badly wanted to dance! I even tried, but after getting hit in the face with my own belly fat a couple of times & taking out those around me with my jelly roll arms, I couldn't. Bah humbug.
Worship in a church setting with singing & instruments & dancing is my happy place! My favorite thing...ever! In a setting like that, everything can fade away & for that moment, it's just me & God! Pure Bliss! Tonight it hit me (almost litterally) like never before! I couldn't worship the way I wanted to. MY FAT GOT IN THE WAY!
It's my fault! No one put those cookies in my mouth. No one shoved that ice cream down my throat! Every song reminded me of this issue tonight. "We turn our eyes, from evil things. Oh Lord we cast down our idols" and then we cover them in chocolate & eat them. "We will overcome" or not and then eat it. Seriously! This is where my mind went tonight! I kid you not! "Your children dancing, dancing. It's all for You." Oh wait, I can't, therefore it's not all for you. It ends up being about me...again.
At one point Pastor Dave even said, "if you need healing in your body, raise your hands" to Him and ask for healing. I did. I asked God to heal my knees & back which have really been bothering me. BUT IS THAT FAIR? "Um, yeah, God? Can you please make my back & knees feel better? I know, I know...I'm 50+ pounds overweight but You can do anything! I know, I know...You've warned me about this before, but You are a miracle working God!" HA! Yeah, God had a few things to say to me!
Lack of discipline is what it comes down to. My hope is that putting my struggle out there for the world to see, I will change it. I know He'll help. It's time. I've ignored the warnings too long. I want to love on my Daddy & be used by Him without ANY hinderance. I want my weight loss to be His gain!
Note: Be warned. If you start posting drama such as "oh jenny, you're beautiful. God doesn't care what you look like." it will be deleted! God and I have this relationship where we can just talk to each other honestly. I to Him & Him to me! And that is where this blog comes in. This is all based around my conversations with Him and the things He's revealing to me about my life.
I am overweight. I have been so convicted about it, but haven't done a thing about it!
Tonight was an only worship night at church, no sermon. I SOOO badly wanted to dance! I even tried, but after getting hit in the face with my own belly fat a couple of times & taking out those around me with my jelly roll arms, I couldn't. Bah humbug.
Worship in a church setting with singing & instruments & dancing is my happy place! My favorite thing...ever! In a setting like that, everything can fade away & for that moment, it's just me & God! Pure Bliss! Tonight it hit me (almost litterally) like never before! I couldn't worship the way I wanted to. MY FAT GOT IN THE WAY!
It's my fault! No one put those cookies in my mouth. No one shoved that ice cream down my throat! Every song reminded me of this issue tonight. "We turn our eyes, from evil things. Oh Lord we cast down our idols" and then we cover them in chocolate & eat them. "We will overcome" or not and then eat it. Seriously! This is where my mind went tonight! I kid you not! "Your children dancing, dancing. It's all for You." Oh wait, I can't, therefore it's not all for you. It ends up being about me...again.
At one point Pastor Dave even said, "if you need healing in your body, raise your hands" to Him and ask for healing. I did. I asked God to heal my knees & back which have really been bothering me. BUT IS THAT FAIR? "Um, yeah, God? Can you please make my back & knees feel better? I know, I know...I'm 50+ pounds overweight but You can do anything! I know, I know...You've warned me about this before, but You are a miracle working God!" HA! Yeah, God had a few things to say to me!
Lack of discipline is what it comes down to. My hope is that putting my struggle out there for the world to see, I will change it. I know He'll help. It's time. I've ignored the warnings too long. I want to love on my Daddy & be used by Him without ANY hinderance. I want my weight loss to be His gain!
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